EXISTENTIAL CRAP

whenever I’m cornered, or in any situation that is too bad to be true, I know I’m only dreaming. This is called lucid dream. What I would do next is either wait it out til I wake up or conciously alter my dream to my favor. But 100% of these dreams’ excitement end when I realize it as so. From thereon it becomes, as Rasheed Wallace would put it,"like a week-old soda" (or coke, if I were to be quoted). I mean dreams lose its fun -or flavor -once you get your hand on it.

Lucid dream. Nice term. I think I encountered this term in the movie "Vanilla Sky" but didn’t know what it meant until now.

It was a usual morning for Rafael: the sun is up, warm and bright all around. A great way to start the day is to consume a great amount of this warm and succulent fluid which is blessedfully available everywhere. "No" he told himself, "this time I will not eat from where I slept. Besides I need to exercise". So he went looking for a perfect spot to have breakfast.

As he was struting along, Rafael noticed everybody else were frantinc, moving about without direction, as if lost. He just shrugged off what he had noticed and went on. Finally he found a good place to eat.

"Pwe" Rafael spat out the food with much disgust. "cold and spoiled?" he wondered aloud. Then as if everything he heard around him seemed to amplify, even the ones he heard awhile ago flashed back. He then realized the commotion was all about what he just found out: the once abundant food supply has suddenly turned inedible.

In the midst of the chaos a known leader of the community stood on a high place and asked everyone to stop panicking and listen: "You react to this as if you were not expecting it to happen! I know this is not the right time to say this but I have not failed in reminding you about an impending cataclysmic event. That time has come. From now on, as I have predicted, everything around you will wither, will start to emit foul odor, and worst of all there will be no more food."

"what are we going to do now?" asked an elderly from the crowd.

The leader replied "A….continued

Last sunday I brought home a doberman. She’s around 2 months old. The whole family was actually expecting her a week before. The extra waiting  caused a buildup of excitement on all of us, especially on me because I even dream of our would-be-pet repeatedly. It’s not nightmare kind but I woke up several times with cold sweats.

I remember one time when I was still a small boy in the province, my mother and aunt brought home a new t.v. set to replace the old one already broken that looked like a furniture cabinet because of its wooden housing. Maybe out of excitement, the "Charlie’s Angels" series I watched on our new appliance set I dreamed about the whole night, and I woke up several times sweating.

But the real cause of those dreams with sweating spells has to do more on my state of health than on my emotional state (excitement) on both times, at least. In both instances I was having fever, not which is brought about by much excitement, but by natural causes like cough&colds or tonsilitis.

Back to the doberman. She’s worth every centavo of what I have yet to start paying for in installments.

Sometime this month Discovery Channel will be showing "Alien Planet".

This is not just made up by some hollywood production company but a concerted effort of some of the most notable scientists.

From the preview clip, the story goes like this:

In 2014 an unmanned spacecraft will descend on a (far away) planet to discover life. Mind you, it is not aliens dicovering us, as the prevailing popular view is, but the other way around.

And what we will discover are dinosaur-like creatures. From the camera angle - which is at eye-level - of the computer-generated animation, the scene is like that of earth being visited by flying saucers and other auxillary crafts.

To me it seems to suggest: "hey, this is what happened to earth long ago, we’re only retelling it" or "this a good example of ‘history repeating itself’ -on another planet, though".

We don’t have cable so I won’t be able watch it so I can only wonder about the show’s content. I like to think that the story goes like this:

Aside from discovering the planet’s rich natural resources - including a precious metal we badly need to heal earth of the cataclysmic effect of global warming - it is also a good candidate for human habitation.

But those giant dinosaur-like creatures  native to that planet would get in the way of our (man’s) plans. So we decided to innahilate them all (mass extinction). Well, not all. We left some smaller species which were later genetically manipulated to serve as slaves to labor in the mines.

Apparently, a high ranking (Human) official, either out of pity -maybe because these slaves bears strong resemblance to us in many ways, or just out of plain evil motive of wanting to stir up the almost perfect setup, tricked these innocent beings into believing that by rebelling against the system they will be free in all ways possible and become like us. (He didn’t actually tricked them because there was really an existing contraption that is meant for upgrading these less-than-human mutants into a complete, concious man.

As if to tease or just -for our own amusement- see how long our creations can hold off their curiosity, we even placed this sophisticated machine conspicuously at the center of this artificial environment where men and these mutants interact.

And the deal was: They were not to mess around with this machine. It was not explained to them as to what this thing is until this officer revealed it to them. Well, obviously, he’s excellent at convincing - or maybe his product is too good to pass off - otherwise they wouldn’t have listened.

But the real, more serious reason, is difficult to understand as to why it was placed in a tempting location, let alone why build it in the first place. It remained confidential… forever.

Anyway, after the rebellion they were cast out of their comfy environment to an unknown territory. There they multiplied rapidly.

In the course of time, they produced female offsprings that proved too irresistible for the male humans stationed  on that planet. So these men took for themselves these females as mates not knowing the consequences of their actions.

This ellicit unions produced offprings of fearsome and evil reputation. It came to a point where evil deeds have become a commonplace that the human leaders decided to destroy this "diluted" race to start all over.

But we need something to start with.

So we searched for a family whose genes still carry the original strain -"unblemished". Not long after they were found, (which was next to impossible)they were ordered to build a huge vessel - where they will be safe, along with the other endemic creatures they were required to secure - that can withstand severe floods brought about by a long period of rain.

Ok, it’s already a give-away, as the title goes, anyone can take the story from this point — alluding to the book of Genesis 6.

My wife and I sometimes talk about the inevitable, death. Not the serious kind of talk though.  There are two things she wishes: One, she prays that God will not bless her with a long life. Notwithstanding our eldest daughter’s wish:"sana we will live a very long life" her Mama would frown and say "I don’t like that happening to me!".

And two, she prays that God would take her first. She doesn’t like the idea of her being the one left behind.

In the course of our discussions we’d often touch on the topic of remarriage. Thanks to my steady and constant lobbying throughout the years, I finally persuaded her to reverse her initial stand of not allowing me to remarry if the inevitable happens.

On my part there is no problem. I only want whatever she believes is best for her. If achieving that means remarrying, then, by all means… I wouldn’t want to get in the way… now that’s love.

Out of this talks-over-coffee I’ve concocted a pretty funny scenario (My wife, considering that the story involed her in a fictional predicament, registered the best laugh-of-the-week when she heard it - retelling it though won’t be as funny anymore, it’s one of those you-have-to-be-there to appreciate it).

Anyway here’s the story: On her (iadaeum Apo!) deathbed, assuming that everything between us have been ironed out, I am already at peace to accept the inevitable. Then, on her last breath she says "Ayoko palang magasawa ka". Then that’s the last of her.

It is suppose to be funny because it revolves around the idea (my wife’s idea that is, that she knows already all of the ways of men mainly from what she gathered in observing her only "lab rat"…me) that the only way to make me happy again -or to get me back on track- is to simply secure myself another woman. She believes this holds true to all men.. ‘You’ve seen one you’ve seen all’.

"Mama?!". More than the reality hitting me that she’s gone (as if I was not prepared for this) is the shock created by the shattered verbal agreement we carefully formed together, not to mention the suddeness of retraction and its timing -she could not have uttered it at a worse time–I mean she cannot take back what is said anymore, can she?)

Now imagine that scenario, up to the point before her retraction, really happening in the future (iadaeum Apo!).

In her last moments, ironically, my wife and I must be laughing ourselves out knowing that we once made up a scenario exactly like the one we’re in.   And she knows that I know that were both expecting to hear her utter that funny line, but this time as a joke… or is it?

Like we say to each other: "You’re the best thing that ever happened to me… so far."

Belated happy mother’s day!

Whenever I hear the song "Russians" by Sting, for some reason, I am reminded of a one long-ago episode of "Picket Fences" about a man who was on trial for massacre. His defense was: He is not accountable for his murderous deeds because, simply, it is just the way he is. Being raised in a violent home and neighborhood, his lawyers believe, with the aid of experts, made him into a monster that has developed a propensity to murder in cold blood. In short, blame it all on his past because it is neither his fault, nor his choice to be born in such a cursed circumstance…I think he was acquitted.

My point is: there is always a reason behind every -what we perceive to be- evil deed.

In the song "Russians" there is a line that goes "I hope the Russians love their children too”. This some-sort-of indirect plea was most relevant during the cold war when threats of nuclear war were always present, a time when if you were a fan of Rambo it only means that you see the Soviets collectively as the absolute evil villain.

But Russians are human beings too, and as the song implies, are parents also, who, presumably, love their children so much they wouldn’t dare destroy the latter’s future by initiating a nuclear “first strike”.

If there was something to be learned on that part of history it is that life is a cycle of protection. Not only are we counting our future on our children but also that their lovable and cuddly nature, which has proven to have the power to melt the heart of even the most powerful war-freak parent (if the above historical event, or lack of, were an indication) will make sure they will have one.

…After God created the bird He said to it "I created you", and the bird said "tweet tweet" in approval and flew off and God said "perfect!".

…After God created the dog He said "I created you", and the dog wiggled its tail and barked in gratitude and God said "perfect!".

…Now after God created man He said to him "I created You", and the man replied "no you did not" and went away. God said "perfect!".

Men…and women, after the Garden of Eden fiasco, are naturally fallen.